Friday, July 5, 2013

what to do what to do

It's 8.59PM in the Philippines and I'm writing this blog post inside a sari-sari store. I'm sweaty and hot, and the skin at the back of my thighs is sticking to the plastic chair I'm sitting on, making every movement quite painful. I'm writing with a yellow pad paper and an unbranded Filipino pen. Five years ago this would've been the norm for me, but ever since moving to Ireland four years ago doing this has been a rarity. Sitting here right now feels like a daydream, like when you come across something that used to mean a whole lot to you before and you start thinking about the memories attached to that thing. Foggy and slow. Like you're underwater.

I was a very different person back then. I liked and did different things and the relationships I had with the people in my life had been different too. My blog had been a witness of these changes. Writing here meant that I could look back and see what had changed and try to decide if it was for the better or worse. This blog has come to mean a lot to me, which is why I'm pretty gutted that I completely forgot about my third blog anniversary to weeks ago. It has been some sort of a tradition in this site and i don't know what to say about my sudden memory lapse. I could blame the crazy busy week I had before going back home. But the truth is that me and my blog has been having problems for a while now.

This feels like a break-up.

Next day- 4.35PM

But damn it, you know what? This doesn't have to feel like a break-up. I love writing on this blog and sharing my stories with people and so I will keep doing that until I don't feel like doing it anymore. I may not post as regularly now as I did before but it's still something that I enjoy doing. I feel happy when I create a post.

I just need to find a way to bring my mojo back.

Anybody has any advice?

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