Today was our first official classes in school. Of course very few of my classes actually jumped into immediately teaching us and more of my classes gave us an overview of the course and the layout of the exams. It was still very exhausting and draining though. I am making a conscious effort of being a lot more attentive than I already was and it's a lot of work. By the time I got home I wanted to fall into a deep sleep and not wake up until tomorrow. However I won't get all my homework (already!!!!) done, so I decided to go against that and take my housemate's advice for me when I'm tired which is to put ice on my eyes and all over my face. It worked, and suddenly I had enough energy to do the work that I was given, which is obviously nothing compared to the actual homework that I would get normally, but still it is very mentally tiring.
I went to school today feeling physically sick of anxiety. I was so worried, and I don't even know why. Maybe because FIFTH YEAR (dun dun dunnn), but it was very strange for me to feel that way as first day back in school is for me the easiest day ever that has to do with school. Anyway, it did turn out to be quite overwhelming, as literally every teacher I had talked to us about their lesson plans for the year, and it just made the looming shadow of the Leaving Cert in the distance a lot more real than before. I suppose sometimes you need to have that sort of shock to get yourself studying, but I think it was a bit much for me. I went home exhausted and I called my Friend and had a little cry and the Friend gave me a whole lot of encouraging words that I really needed, and I felt much better. And now I'm on top of things and I know that that's not a huge thing because it's just the first day but I feel much more hopeful than before.
I think I need to finish this blog post up now because my father is about to go upstairs and take the laptop from me, so I guess I'll see you guys tomorrow. It's so much harder blogging when there's school ugh.