Monday, August 5, 2013

On Regrets

I am a really bad decision-maker. I always the fear that I might be choosing the worse of the choices for myself, and so it usually takes me time to make a decision. Even for mundane and less important tasks like shopping. I can't go into a shop and just buy something that I like because there is always that part of my brain that goes, "Well what if there's a better one in that other shop?" And so if I made a decision that turned out to be for the worse, I wallow instead of doing something to repair what ever damage I had caused. I cry and the feeling of regret slowly eats me up inside.

There is just one thing in my life that I regret the most, and unfortunately I can't talk about it openly to protect the people involved. When I made that one decision, I pretended that everything was fine and dandy, that I made the right decision for myself and mostly, that I didn't regret. But I did. I regretted that one decision real bad. Three years after I made that decision I would still feel bad about it. Lucky for me though, the time did come when I had the opportunity of patching things up with the person involved, and now we're both happy, and I don't regret that decision I made after all. It made our relationship become stronger than what it was those years ago. We learned our lessons and we learned how to not let the same thing happen again.

I think what I've learned from that experience is that it's always too soon to regret something. You never know what the effect of your actions are going to be. That reminds of this quote by Zhou Enlai when he was asked to assess the impact of the French Revolution. He replied with, "It's too soon to say." Something you regret now could make a huge difference in your life in the future, and it could be for the better. Besides, regretting something does not make the decision that you made go away, so instead of holding a grudge against yourself for making that decision, make it yourself's job to turn things around and make the situation better.


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