Thursday, August 8, 2013

Troubled

*Disclaimer* 
This post would probably make a lot more sense to you if you like watching people on Youtube and also if you know what is going on. Also I'm not trying to invade people's privacy, this is just me talking to you about where I stand on things just so I can get these things out of my head.

I like Youtube. I became a Nerdfighter in 2010, which was around the time that I was still adjusting from moving to Ireland. I was also still trying to find out what kind of person I am, because I was forced to live without the things that I thought I wouldn't be complete with and what I thought was a large part of who I am, so I was just completely lost. It sounds incredibly cheesy but the Vlogbrothers and the Nerdfighteria community helped me out enormously during those times. They gave me friends, and books, and ideas that I had never heard of before. They made me laugh and cry and they taught me to emphatize. They helped shape the kind of thinking that I have now, and for that I owe them a lot. If it wasn't for Nerdfighteria and the Vlogbrothers, I wouldn't have learned to question things and to strive to learn more than what the school system teaches me.

What I'm trying to say here is that the people that I watch on Youtube, the people whose videos I like and comment in, have made a huge impact in my life, and yes, I admit that I care about them more than a regular viewer probably should. I do respect their privacy and I understand that their lives are not mine, but I do care a lot about them.

And so the recent events have left me a little bit shaken.

Not only because the person involved was a person that I looked up to and whose work I admired, but also because I am female. Upon hearing the news I was terrified. I felt threatened and yes, intimidated by the society, by, not just those who openly criticise feminist ideas, but more so those people who openly support feminist ideas. I am a trusting person, and it is difficult for me to not believe a person when there is no proof that they are lying. But now that certain things have happened, I don't know what to believe anymore.

I along with my classmates went to Pompeii and its sister town Herculaneum last May. The two towns were so incredibly civilised by the time Vesuvius erupted. They had dams and politics and advertisements  and restaurants, and I remember the one thing that struck my mind when I was there was that how can the world and our society still have so many problems to deal with, when we were already so advanced by 79 AD? You would think that we would have at least gotten over prejudice and inequality and maybe even poverty by now but we haven't, and it almost seems like the world jumped a few years back after 79 AD, and now we're more or less where we were in 79 AD.

All I want is equality of all kinds. All I want is for people, no matter how different their background or social status are, to be treated the same. To be given the same amount of respect and opportunity and voice. I don't see what's so hard to accept and comprehend about that.

I'm just so tired of the bullshit.

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