Tuesday, January 28, 2014

January Obsessions

So in a turn of events which surprised absolutely no one, I ended up not blogging as much as I would've like in January. I mean I know I have a legit reason this time (chicken pox is a disease that makes me so motivated to be a doctor just so I can annihilate it completely) but I definitely exploited that reason a lot, at least in regards to blogging. I know I could've written a post in the past few days and maybe did things that are much more productive than sleeping for like 18 hours a day, but I didn't. On top of that I haven't been in the best of moods lately and a lot of it can be blamed on the amount of school work and extra-curricular work that I need to catch up on, which I have been putting off doing because NO. Also scars on my face and the realization that I am a lot more vain and shallow than I'd like to think I am, and also this thought that I may be a hypocrite because I get so worked up on social justice issues, but now I'm realizing that I'm probably doing things against my opinions and beliefs without even realizing it.

I hope that made sense.

To try and cheer up myself a little bit I have decided like five minutes ago to write about three things that I'm obsessed with every month. These can be ideas or things or people, it doesn't really matter as long as they have given me some sort of satisfaction for the month. So let's begin.

1. Beyoncé. I mean I've liked her before, sure, like every other person in the world. I don't think it's actually possible to hate on her because she's just incredible in every way. But my appreciation for Beyoncé has increased this month because I gave a few songs on her new album a listen, and also watched her visual album on YouTube, and now my new motto in life is "What would Beyoncé do?" There's just something empowering about seeing a person so confident that they would drop an album without telling anyone because they knew that shit would blow up. Her songs have made me feel just really good about life and her songs are one of the things that have helped me get through this horrible horrible month.

2. Number two is a person who I'm not really allowed to talk about in here but technically I'm not talking about that person because I'm not dropping any names, I just hope I wouldn't get into trouble for this. I just want to show how much I appreciate this person because this person has stuck with me through so much crap and even though things could be so much better, this person has never left. I don't know how I could've possibly gotten through this month without this person, because this person to me is a bit like an escape. Every time I talk to this person I could just release whatever animosity I have in life and just talk about it to this person and then I just sort of forget about it and suddenly I'm happy again. Basically this person is my happy place and I'm really really really really glad that this person exists in my life and I would just like to thank this person. Thank you person.

3. Feminism. When you become aware that things like slut-shaming and discrimination against women exists, it's really hard to unsee it. Things that were mundane to you in every day life and things that you previously have not had any issues with become like chicken pox blisters. Annoying, and disgusting, and makes you want to rip your skin off (in this case, skin is a metaphor for society). And then people begin accusing you of making small issues seem larger than it actually is, and they begin to say that you're over-reacting, or that you're getting upset over nothing, or worse, that you're on your period. It's the most frustrating situation that has ever happened to me, because my feelings about feminism has gotten a lot stronger over the past couple of months that I can't correct somebody without getting angry and tears of annoyance, and then the opposition don't take you seriously anymore because "you're taking things too personally" but when you have been oppressed for hundreds of years and when you're constantly told that you can't be anything greater than what society has thrust upon you and when your opinions and beliefs are repeatedly crushed and ruled out solely because they're coming from a person like you, how else would you take it but personally? Oppression of women is an issue that I am tired of and it needs to go away because I AM OVER IT.

And on that note, goodbye. As you can see life is being difficult for me at the moment and this term school wise has been a disaster so far and I cannot wait for midterm break in February. In the meantime, my name is Danielle and I am in hell.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Sick


I took the day off from school today. I'm getting chills and I feel like everything I feel when I have a fever. It's positively dreadful. If I would hazard a guess it's probably the running I did yesterday with my friends during lunchtime. My school has started a project called Presentation Transformation (a play on the Operation Transformation show in RTE) and it involves running twice a week for six weeks so that by the end of six weeks we'd be able to run a 3K run in Mount Juliet (that's a place in Kilkenny.) I've never been good at running, even when I had physical outlets like ballet and hip hop. But since I've stopped both my fitness level has gotten much much worse and after I run five steps I'd feel like I'm about to die. It's horrible. But then again I guess this is why I'm taking part in this project. Might have to take it slowly at first though. I looked it up online (as you do instead of going to the doctor) and a lot of people are saying I'm probably dehydrated, and they're also recommending energy drinks like Lucozade. Might try that.

I know I'm just babbling but I can barely sit up in my bed and there's nothing else to do. I'm actually typing this in my phone. I'm so cold.

I also feel slightly sick of life in general. I feel behind in school, although I'm probably not as behind as I think I am. As well as that the family is driving me bonkers. I can't wait to move out, which I know is a terrible thing to say, but I'm guessing it would be better for everyone involved if I do.

I don't know if I'll be able to go to school tomorrow. To be honest I just wanna cancel my life at least until Monday. I'm so tired, and I have so many worries.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

PART FOUR OF FOUR: RESOLUTIONS

A  bit behind, but better late than never! This year I'm going to write just simple list of the resolutions that I want to keep for the year. Nothing too specific like last year's, because that was a wreck! Just simple guidelines.

  1. “The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go.” 
  2. “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” 
  3. “Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.” 
  4. “It's a universal law-- intolerance is the first sign of an inadequate education. An ill-educated person behaves with arrogant impatience, whereas truly profound education breeds humility.” 
  5. “Promise Yourself

    To be so strong that nothing
    can disturb your peace of mind.
    To talk health, happiness, and prosperity
    to every person you meet.

    To make all your friends feel
    that there is something in them
    To look at the sunny side of everything
    and make your optimism come true.

    To think only the best, to work only for the best,
    and to expect only the best.
    To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others
    as you are about your own.

    To forget the mistakes of the past
    and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
    To wear a cheerful countenance at all times
    and give every living creature you meet a smile.

    To give so much time to the improvement of yourself
    that you have no time to criticize others.
    To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear,
    and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

    To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world,
    not in loud words but great deeds.
    To live in faith that the whole world is on your side
    so long as you are true to the best that is in you.” 
I wish you all a happy and prosperous year!