Monday, March 31, 2014

March Obsessions


Yeah, sorry. Procrastination is a hard addiction to beat, so when I'm in the mood for writing posts, I just do it ALL AT ONCE. Also I want to get a total of four entries for March, so lucky you gets two crappy posts from me!

Girls. The HBO TV show! I am obsessed. I marathoned the whole three seasons in two weeks! Girls had something that no other TV show has really offered me before, which is realness. The characters are ridiculously relatable for me, even though I actually dislike all of them. Yes, all of the characters on this show annoy me. And I've been thinking about it and I think it's because for me, they portray some parts of myself that are hard to look at. It may be an exagerrated version of who I am, it may be a caricature of my personality, but it is still some part of me. And it's simultaneously addicting and incredibly painful to watch. The characters are all going through the same stuff that I am going through and trying to understand right now. You know, dissatisfaction with life, the feeling of not being proactive enough, work and school related suffocation, even the feeling of being shitty when you don't quite know why. Girls manages to capture nearly exactly how it feels to be imprisoned in your own life. At least that's what I get from it. Also it's so pretty. Creative direction and cinematography is A plus. I would recommend this to absolutely anyone at all who wants to watch a new TV show, but mostly maybe to people who are trying and struggling to find their own voice.

Glamour. The idea of a fabulous, stress-free life, where one has a tidy room and an organized schedule of things, which one follows. I've been so into fabulous lifestyle books recently, and I think it may be because I need a breather from my own chaotic life. I don't feel like I have control over things for reasons that are completely all my fault, especially with school. Academia has been crazy lately. But anyway, right now, the idea of glamour is one of the things that are helping me to try and keep my life, and myself, together, and to make an effort to be more organized in school and in life in general. Also, pretty things are always a good thing in my book. If you're into this I recommend The Goddess Experience by Gisele Scanlon, Lauren Conrad's books, I Want To Be Her by Andrea Linett (I borrowed all of these books from my friend Brónagh, who I think is actually the most glamourous person I know in real life.), also Clothes, Cameras, and Coffee, and to keep up with all those parties you can't attend.

My mom. Yesterday was Mother's Day, and we ate out in an Italian restaurant being all fancy. I don't think I say it enough, especially not in this blog, so here it is. I love my mother very much, and I appreciate and care for her.


Stupid Stupid

I have done many a foolish thing in my lifetime, but I don't think anything surpasses that one time, which happened quite recently, in fact only two months ago, when I've had to sell some of my books in order to pay a huge phone bill. Seriously.

I like collecting books. Since childhood I've loved the look of a pile of books sitting in a shelf, or on the floor, or on a desk. I buy books in charity shops if I thought they looked interesting, even when I didn't necessarily have a need to read the book. As a result I have grown quite a collection of books with the majority of it unread, which is actually pretty embarrassing for me to admit. That being said though, lot of the books I sold had a lot of personal memories attached to them, so parting ways with some of my beloved was not an easy thing for me to do. I sold all but one of my John Green books (broke. my. heart.), and some of the other ones I sold are shown below as well.


Also, this is a thank-you and appreciation post to all of my friends without whom I couldn't have made it through this difficult, difficult time. I can't imagine what would've happened to me without you to support my irresponsible lifestyle. Thank you.

Also for those who are curious: 


Friday, March 28, 2014

Pacifying My Younger Self

As with everything else in my life, the root of this post is the lyrics to a Beyoncé song:
"When you're lying in your bed, are you happy with yourself?"
It's not news that I used to romanticize being a grown-up, I think I've harped on that enough times on this blog. I was swept by Disney Channel's portrayal of highschool and Nickelodeon's teenage lifestyle in shows like Zoey 101 and Naturally Sadie and Unfabulous. I was a devoted reader of a magazine designed for tweens (pre-teens) and it would make teenage life seem like a magical land where disorganization and crippling anxiety about the future don't exist. And although I was an only child for most of my early life, a lot of older (than me) cousins would live with us for school or work, and I would, sometimes begrudgingly, look up to them. They were horrible to me and they made my childhood life a living hell, but I still thought they were the coolest "real" people on the planet ever. They always were in keeping with the latest trends be it technology or fashion. They always had the coolest phones and the coolest things and were basically, to me, a vat full of creativity. Although I disliked them to an extent, I couldn't help but try and emulate their "coolness." They were who I wanted to be when I finally become a teenager. Now as we all know, oft-times we don't live the life the way we imagined it to be, and that's making me wonder if I am living the life that I wanted to live when I was ten, it's just that I'm not realizing it. I'm really inclined to say yes to this, for the most part, and I think, in a lot of ways, my younger self would actually prefer to see the lifestyle as I am living it now, rather than the way she imagines teenage life to be.

A lot of the characteristics that I think I actually prefer now about my teenage life were brought about by my move to Ireland when I was twelve, which in my opinion really marked the start of teenage life for me. Without a doubt that first couple of months in a new and strange place were one of the most tumultuous moments of my life. I've never had to deal with so much change before and I really was forced to get out of my little box of dependence and start doing things for and by myself. I do think that moving made me become a more well-rounded person as a result, because I learned to think critically and see other people's point of views, which I don't think I would've learned if I was brought up in a more suffocating society that shots down any kind of change or deviation from the social norms. Moving here also improved my English grammar and vocabulary by soooooo much, and I don't think my younger self would've ever envisioned that.

Of course a lot of it too was brought about by the internet and the amount of new ideas that it offered and still offers me, and that I think is one of the reasons why I couldn't have imagined myself as I am living now, because technology and the internet has evolved so much over the past 6 or 7 years. Ideas that I feel very strongly about right now, like feminism and equality, were brought about by the amount of time that I spent online, and by the amount of exposure that I got from both sides of a particular issue. I am a better informed person now, way more than I could've imagined myself to be, and I think I really do owe that to the internet, particularly social media. I obviously still don't know everything about a lot of things, and is not in any way an expert to any subject at all, and I know that the internet can misinform a person a lot of times, but I still think it did me more good than bad. I may talk about the internet in a different post, actually, because I've got a lot of things to say about the subject.

So yeah, I could work on being more organized. I can be a lot more tidier and make my room look like something out of a page of a home interior magazine for teenagers. I am not athletic, or fit, and I don't wake up at 8 am in a Saturday morning to jog and then go home and eat a smoothie that I made myself out of fresh fruit. I am in no way living the teenage life that I thought of a lot when I was younger, edited in my head so that it looks like a Sofia Coppola movie with all the haziness and the dreamy soundtrack. But I have impressed myself in more ways that I was expecting, and sometimes, in a world where we are taught to make ourselves smaller and where being comfortable in our own skin is branded as being "narcissistic," it's just nice to recognize that, and say that, "Yes, Beyoncé, I am happy with myself. Thank you very much."

Thursday, March 20, 2014

My Friend Paddy

It has become a little bit of a tradition in this blog for me to record St. Patrick's Day events, and usually, I would just put up the pictures I took from the parade. But this year is a little bit different, because for the first time in the five years that I've been living in Kilkenny, I took part in the parade myself! The Filipinos took Santacruzan as the theme, and I have to say it was very surreal to do in Kilkenny what I am so accustomed to do back home. I took part in many Santacruzan parades when I was younger and I always absolutely loved it but moving to Ireland meant that that tradition has to end. The revival of it last weekend was absolutely incredible though! Here are some pictures.

And because as I've said, I wasn't in the parade myself, I didn't take pictures of anything else. Here is the aftermath though:

There you go! I hope everyone else had an awesome St. Patrick's Day like I did. And I will see you guys later!


d i s c l a i m e r: The photo marked Pinhole Productions is a property of Pinhole Productions.